Deceit by Ignorance

Search up deceptive on google images and this is the first result that pops up. Towels that create the illusion that someone's naked legs were wrapped around you- not necessarily indicative of sex, but almost definitely sexual in nature. Alas, it is but a mere trick to deceive the eyes.

Wearers of a garmet like this most likely thought it was funny, but definitely meant for the deceit. I have nothing against them- it's the people that deceive people unintentionally that get my towels in a knot.

I'm a fan of reading into other people's words, so the saying of one sentence gives a paragraph of insight into the speaker. I'm not necessarily great at it, and naturally I make mistakes at times, but I accept that. However, sometimes, especially with someone new, I would start basing my relationship with them by some fundamental facts, only to have these "facts" be undermined a while later.

Usually mistakes on my part would be a result of me not hearing correctly or making silly judgment calls. However, recently I've made 2 bad assumptions (or in the very least, these bad assumptions were revealed to me) in which I heard them correctly, and looking back, in one case my assumption still seems valid, and in the other, I don't think I even needed to assume. But yeah, these two bad judgment calls are going to cost me quite a bit =/.

Hopper's Nighthawk

My last art class was in elementary school- I have always been a bank geek, and perhaps always will be. I remember looking at countless lilies by Monet, and wondering why we were supposed to be fascinated by dots that form shapes which give way to images. A lot of repetitive questions were asked: "How does it make you feel?"; "Why are the colour choices so?"; and "What is the role of contrast?". Back then I had difficulties interpreting those questions, and try as I might, I always fail to provide the answers my teacher wants. Maybe Monet had troubles focusing and to him his paintings were like anyone else's.

Wrong.

We were always told to "Think like the artist". I never understood what that meant; does my teacher actually believe that I can think like a middle aged white male at the age of 12? Needless to say, I never done well in Arts.

In high school, some of the humanities courses would ask to interpret pictures or diagrams, and with me, they were often hit or miss. I still try to evaluate pictures sometimes, but they are often more like criticizing the Chemical reaction clouds in my sociology text.

Then a friend linked me to this picture, Hopper's Nighthawk. Instantly, I got it.

Loneliness.

Seconds later I felt like crying. I didn't need to put myself into Hopper's shoes; I've worn them my whole life to the point where the soles are all but gone. The colours? dark, amorphous. The contrasts? my guy versus the couple, and even then, the couple aren't that happy.

A few seconds after that, I was back to Chemistry.

Text from last night

"Alex is here... get some collateral if you can... left nut if necessary."
- E

So I got the dreaded "Your memory is 95% filled" on my cell phone yesterday, and went through my messages as a last check, just to make sure I didn't lose any important phone numbers or addresses. That's where I found this gem from a few weeks back. One of the few messages that survived the cleaning. Lots of problems with this one.

Grad Class of 201x

When we were wee kids, prepubescent and hairy only on our heads (save for David H.), we took for granted that our elementary education will end after 8 years (in a K~7 school). All the friends you met while tussling around on the gravel filled playground will likely be with you until grade 7, except for the exotic few that become transfer students. We were dynamic back then; I say dynamic because two-faced has a horrible connotation a la Batman. We can like some of our classmates one day, and then disregard them the next, only to be best friends before the week is done. All we know was that we were stuck together until grade 8.

Then comes high school. The sparkle of newness, and what some would suggest where work actually starts kicking in. Freshmen usually have their bouts of friends shuffling as people's interests diverge from lego building and tag on the playground, but typically seniors have a set clique they belong to. The transfer students become less unusual, and they too integrate well with the rest of the school's society. As we sit in our gowns in our grad ceremony, we wonder about those that weren't there with us - the kid in math that moved onto a better high school last year, the girl that had to drop out of school for personal reasons, and the guy who didn't pass enough grade 12 courses to graduate this year. Yet, most people at the valedictory has been there for the whole 5 years.

I guess what I'm getting at is that there are typically a set amount of time you spend at each institution, before you are shuttled off to do (usually) bigger and (hopefully) better things. That breaks down once university starts. There are so many factors that goes into determining how many years your education is going to take up. There are people that I started university with that are going to be gone at the end of next year, and those that will be graduating in what is the typical 4 years, as well as those who will be stuck doing their degrees in 5 or more years, for whatever reason.

All I know is that, a bulk of the people that I started UBC with will be gone before I'm out of here, when I'm out of here. Nothing set in stones, but I'm looking at being UBC grad '13.

Smile

So I deemed that I've spent enough time (although not getting enough done) studying to justify doing a real blog entry, especially since now, I have a topic.

I was reading someone's blog ("Chris") and I came across this little gem -

"Now, you probably think I'm a fanatical fan of The Secret. And I want you to know that I'm not. This isn't about wishful thinking becoming a reality. It's more of a, to put it lightly, radical cognitive shift in perception of reality.

If reading that mouthful of a sentence didn't make you smile you can stop reading now. For the rest of you please continue.

What the heck is a radical blah blah thingy? It's what happens when you smile. Life just gets better when you smile. And when life gets better, its easier to see the good in every situation. Hence the radical (large) cognitive (thought) shift (change) in (in) perception (what you see) of (of) reality (life)"

At first I thought it was going to be a cute Malcom Gladwell-esque inspirational story. Then I got to the last paragraph, and I had a full-hearted chuckle. If you've been around me much this term, you'll find that I have been (besides klutzy) sleep deprived muchly and sometimes giggle over the most obscure things, but I don't think it's that (I know that my sleep debt over the term probably isn't recovered by last night's good sleep, but I think I'm relatively well rested).

I think it'd be amazing to hear this person ("Chris") read this passage out loud. Of course this is after going through about a year's worth of blog entries, so this person is starting to be real for me.

Smile. That's an interesting concept. I have been trying to smile at people, strangers and acquaintances alike, with some different results. I think most of the time people thought "who is this retard grinning at me?" Although sometimes I'd get people that'd smile back at me. My days recently have been a little bit better, although I don't know if that's a function of the smiling or the smilin (bio exam joke) or just the reduction in work.

Maybe it's just because I've been able to watch shows like Glee. I find it funny all these things I'm into, BLISS, Glee, maybe I'm just destined to watch others be happy. Oddly enough, there were two songs titled smile in the recent episode

"Smile, though your heart is aching,

smile even though it's breaking.

When there are clouds in the sky,

you'll get by.

If you smile, through your pain and sorrow,

smile and maybe tomorrow,

you'll see the sun come shining through for you"

Charlie Chaplin's Cover

Hopefully the sun will shine through for me tomorrow.

Fruit loops, what's the deal?

So after seeing a jumbo box a few days ago, I had hankering for fruit loops. They're a weird thing - it's sold as a cereal, but I think it's the only cereal that I prefer to have with a cup of milk, as opposed to in a bowl a milk. Is it cereal (in the commercial sense) if I eat it dry then drink milk?

Of course, I am no endorsing Fruit Loops in any way. Tide-to-go, I'm not so sure. I've bought a tide to go and left it in my backpack because of Paul, my lab supervisor, wholeheartedly supports the owning (ownage) of a tide to go. I haven't personally used it, but my friend spilled coffee on herself, and when offered, she spread about half the tube's content on herself in a crowd of people. Suddenly a flurry of questions came "OMG, is that a tide to go?" "OMG, does it actually work?" "Omg, I totally meant to get one of those because I'm the biggest klutz I know, but I didn't know it worked so well"

Yeah. Lets try for a real post before new years eh?

Jeblah

That basically describes how I view life in the past while. Things just been piling on, and every time I shovel through something, I only expose my vision to another couple of mounds. In a sense it's kinda like the mound of leaves at UBC between the SUB and Hebb. The pile's been there since October, and you continuously see a container there being filled up with leaves, but the mound never disappears. I'm assuming that by December 22nd, the courtyard by the knoll will finally be cleared.

I'm talking about getting drunk too much. A- I don't even do that that often, B- if I really wanted to do that, I should've just gotten her done.

But yes, getting frustrated lately (although surprisingly happy when someone picked it up). Although when asked why, I gave to reasons, and the reply was how come I'm putting those two things in the same league. Response? I've been lonely my whole life, but it's only very recently that I've been slapped in the face with being incompetent.

Lets see who's more incompetent come September.